Subject: Tariffs – An Unacceptable Breach of Protocol

Internal Memo – Confidential

Team,

We need to address an increasingly problematic development: tariffs.

As you know, our standard operating procedure ensures that revenue generated domestically is routed through a series of legal entities, IP licensing structures, and offshore jurisdictions. This process—refined over generations—minimizes our effective tax rate to well below the statutory level (currently hovering somewhere between 0% and "a rounding error"). In exchange, we’ve consistently supported lawmakers across the aisle to maintain this elegant framework.

Tariffs, however, operate outside this architecture.

They are blunt instruments collected at the border, before earnings can be routed, repackaged, or rendered invisible. There are no deductions, no depreciation schedules, no "loss carryforwards." Just a straight % skimmed off the top by the government—without our consent.

To be clear:

We import $1B in goods annually.

A 10% tariff means $100M goes directly to the Treasury.

That’s $100M we cannot defer, reroute, or write off.

Worse, this $100M would have otherwise contributed to executive bonuses, shareholder returns, or crucial political investments.

This undermines not just our profit margins, but decades of progress in ensuring government revenue collection remains optional for corporations of our scale.

Action items:

Increase pressure on trade committees to “modernize” tariff structures.

Begin PR campaign framing tariffs as a “consumer burden” and “job killer.”

Explore legal loopholes in bonded warehouses and re-export schemes.

Consider new PAC funding to support tariff-reform candidates.

Let’s remind everyone: government funding should come from small business payroll taxes and lottery tickets—not from us.

—End Memo—

This memo is satire.  I just wish to make you question everything you know with information you already know.   Feel free to use this in whole or in part.  

Ok all that propaganda about who pays for this is interesting when you consider what actually determines price is supply and demand. 

When trump says the tariff are reciprocal ,  that's could be the intent.